Editor’s note: Alan
Tapley is the parent of two female swimmers, ages twelve and fourteen. Over the past eight years he has been with
them at hundreds of meets and practices.
He has had countless conversations with swimmers about what they would
like the public to know about their pursuit of this grueling sport.
1)
Despite the thousands of dollars you have
already spent on your young swimmer, you are still willing to suggest that your
12 year old take Pilates, hire a Personal Trainer, or even get the occasional
massage in order to improve their overall performance.
2)
While technically not calling it a “self-taper,”
you conveniently have your young swimmer miss practice the day before a big meet
using a lame excuse such as they had a 7pm dentist appointment.
3)
Your nine year old swimmer grows a half an inch
according to the bedroom wall growth chart, and you project them to
automatically be 6’4 with a 7’0 wingspan.
4)
You look up the timeline not to know when your kid
is swimming, but to let him/her know how much time they have in between events
to eat, rest, and prepare for the next swim.
5)
You look up the results of a local meet to see
how everyone performed, though your kid’s team wasn’t even in attendance.
6)
You not only can recognize every name in the top
ten on the latest Psych Sheet. You can also name what team they’re on. And you probably have a general idea of when
they age up.
7)
Your house feels empty without a swim bag on the
floor, dirty towels in the laundry room, and wet bathing suits hanging in the
bathroom.
8)
Your car forever smells of sweat, chlorine, and
stale chocolate milk.
9)
You’re in multiple carpools, and yet it’s always
your day to drive.
10)
You are hoping that your kid gets a swim scholarship,
just so you can break even.
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